Day 261: 12/17/2018
It was a real rollercoaster ride kind of day today!
It was the second day for skiing in Tinges, France. I woke up being very hopeful as it was a new day and it meant a fresh start. As soon as we reached the Magic Carpet or baby slope, I started practicing some basics of snowboarding I learned yesterday with help and support of P’Gluay. However, no matter how hard I tried, I did not go anywhere and my effort seemed to be helpless. From being hopeless, I soon became tired and very confused. I fell endlessly in every position one can possibly think off.
As a consequence, there were so many questions I could not find the answers to including “why am I doing this (snowboarding)?” and “should I quit?” These thoughts became my verbal expressions that did not do anything but making the situation worse. I felt so desperate, tired and wanted to quit so many times today. What was more, I believed snowboarding was not for me. I cried so many times out of the thinking why I could not do it and it did not seem to make sense to me no matter how hard other people tried to help me by offering their kind explanations and demonstration.
It was so bad to the point where P’Gluay and I fought. Though I wanted to quit so badly, my other self convinced me to stick with it a bit longer, never quit too soon and try harder.
In the afternoon, I decided to do something different. I went back to the Magic Carpet area again and started all over again. This time I let myself flow in the direction it wanted to. The only thing I did was to let go of it and move only my head towards the direction I wanted to go. I did not try to control but rather let the board go the way it wanted to.
It worked! I believed I finally have come closer to the full understanding of becoming as one with the snowboard.
I am not sure how it will be tomorrow but I am certainly excited to move forward to my goal, to go snowboarding with confidence.
Edited 121/18/18 9.46 pm.
