Day 132: 8/10/2018
I have been trying so hard to focus, concentrate, and accomplish something in terms of work. However, no matter how hard I have tried, nothing seemed to work. At the end of the day today, like previous few, I feel like a piece of trash. Do not get me wrong though. I did a bit better today, to be fair with myself, much better. I read about three books trying to generate thoughts and planning for the current section of the proposal I have been working on. Having read so many ideas, I still felt blank having no clear directions how to move forward. To put it more simple, I am stuck (again).
I somehow have to give myself some credits for keeping trying and never giving up. Again, I truly hope that days like this will be gone so soon so that I can get back to a more productive version of me again.
While I was working at the library today, somehow the sudden homesickness hit me so badly. It then urged me to look up a photo of mom, dad, and me on the day I left Surat Thani, my forever home. I got so emotional that and the next thing I knew was when a few teardrops falling down both of my cheeks.
Maybe it is this feeling that has drained my entire energy recently. Maybe I miss home and the feeling of being home.
8/10/2018 11.27 pm.
