Day 90: 6/29/2018
I cannot believe it has been three full months in this country, the United Kingdom. It is now a(nother) perfect time to look back and reflect on what have happened so far.
PhD Research
As of now, I am still at the elementary stage of my PhD journey. The first month (April) was devoted to re-searching my research interest since the submitted proposal was too challenging and difficult to conduct in the context of both the UK and Thailand. The next two months (May and June), I have been working on my research proposal revision with extreme help and support from my supervisor, Jan Hardman. In hindsight, I can clearly see that there were times I felt productive, eager, energetic, inspired, and enthusiastic. And of course, there were those times when I felt as if I was a piece of trash who was totally useless, tired, sluggish and too emotional with no potentials. Luckily, I have survived!
At the first three-month mark, still I have to work on my proposal revision. Among the repetitiveness and endless draft revisions, the good news is I now see it more clearly in which direction I am heading. My overall map has not been this clear before. The research proposal should (must) be complete by this September ready for the TAP meeting. All credits should go to my supportive supervisor who always guides, comforts, mentors and supports me all the way.
The City of York
I have to admit that the past three months have been brilliant for myriad reasons from the weather, people, our apartment, transportation, the PhD student community at York, my work at the restaurant, my ongoing online teaching, my supervisor, my husband, my friends and family and many more reasons. Unlike many times when I moved to a new city, I hardly feel lonely living here in York so far. I can feel warm, touched, and supported from people around me. The city itself feels very warm. Even though there have been a few times that I felt down and lost, things always get better because of all the things mentioned above.
I have to say that I love the City of York and I am thankful for being a part of of this wonderful community.
My Supervisor
Admittedly, prior to coming to York, I was worried about the relationship with my supervisor. Many of my friends who are or were PhD students have emphasized the importance of having a good, healthy relationship with the PhD supervisor. As a result, I had really hoped with all my heart that the relationship between my future supervisor (back then) and me would be, at least, not bad.
Thus far, I have been really fortunate to have Dr. Jan Hardman as my supervisor at York. Our discussions ranged from personal life, interests, health, shoes, weather, family and many more besides our main purpose, to finish a PhD. Jan has been kind, warm, supportive, thoughtful, genuine and very sweet. So far I have loved our discussions. More importantly, even though I am still stressed out and anxious as much as I have a migraine and lose my appetite before every meeting, my relationship with Jan has remained professionally healthy and positive both physically and mentally for me.
One of the things that always come to me before every meeting is a thought that I do not want to let Jan down. That thought keeps me going and wanting to do even more. Thank you, Jan.
Myself
I have learned so much about myself and yet there is still much more to learn about me. First, it is proven (again) that I am more productive when I am busy. Also, I can push myself too hard at times, especially when I underestimate my abilities. Next, I get lost at times but never forever. I often have to remind myself that things are going to be fine and I don’t need to rush and it might be better just to let things go loose for a bit before I can put myself together again. Most important, I have learned that I am happy to be a PhD student here.
There are many other sides of life I have not included. But as this journey goes along, I hope that I will be able to capture all the moment to a certain degree about life — both good and bad. I truly hope that one day, I will be reading this entry in three years with a title of a PhD.
6/29/2018 11.22 pm.
Edited 6/30/2018 11.17 pm.
