Trying to work hard all day after a morning recovery walk this morning, I was so tired that I fell asleep a couple of times today — once at my desk and another in bed each for about half an hour. (Well, to be perfectly honest, it was tough for me to start and stay focused as well.) My naps did not really help me today because I could feel my thoughts and worries running through my head throughout.
I just found out that I actually have quite a lot to do with much less time remaining. For some reason, I opened my notes from the previous supervision meeting and found that a section that I needed to finish requires numerous readings. I thought I was pretty good with keeping track of it. Well, I can actually read much less and finish my proposal without having to worries by following Dr. Jan’s suggestion. Somehow, I feel like there is more to it. Maybe it was my lack of confidence and nervousness again. Or in a worse case, I might just freak out because the overwhelming amount of work undone and I was not aware of it.
So, at this point, I have tried to sort things out by looking back at the reference list provided by Dr. Jan, searched for articles I have to read, got everything ready so that I can start working on them as soon as I get up tomorrow. This gives me a relief since at least I have an idea how much is left for me to do and I can estimate how much time is needed to work on.
I remember what Dr. Jan said last time that it would not be so much work for me to revise the research proposal again. But somehow I am feeling very different. I feel like this research proposal revision never ends. It never leaves me.
For now, let me try to relax, be calm, sleep on it and come back to it later tomorrow. Maybe I was just confused between the two works I have to do — the research proposal revision and literature review. Hopefully, this is true.
6/17/2018 10.40 pm.
