Day 502, 8/25/2019
I woke up this morning at 6.30 as soon as my alarm clock went off but I, for long, did not want to get up at all.
Today was by far the most difficult day yet. I woke up feeling tired and lack of energy since the very first second I opened my eyes. For the next good hour, I did not want to do anything but lying in bed and letting my mind be completely blank and free of any thoughts and worries. However, in reality, that did not happen for a semi-second. My mind was fully filled with thoughts, worries and, of course, fear. I felt like I was completely drained and exhausted.
Well, after an hour, I could not procrastinate anymore otherwise my work would not be done and I would ruin the rest of the day entirely. Thus, I managed to pick myself up to work on my major task for the day, to prepare for the first stimulated recall for one of my participants. It was another challenging task which my learning curve is still extremely steep. I learned that I perhaps will never master mentoring or even prepping for the session alone. Also, I found that along the way, there were so many hectic difficult decisions I needed to make with an idea of using time the most efficiently in mind.
A few hours, I finally managed to accomplish it as my preparation for the meeting was done.
The feeling down carried on for the rest of the day except for when I was with my participant during the interview. I was surprised by my own action this time as I was able to remain calm and focus well throughout the meeting.
At the end of the day, I was proud of myself being able to go through this one tough day and I also believe that discipline was perhaps formed as well.
I thank myself for putting up with my own difficult feelings. More importantly, I am thankful for my participants for always supporting and believing in me.
Every day might not be good.
But there is something good every.
8/12/2019 11.26 pm.
