Day 53: 5/23/2018
Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I will have the third supervision meeting with my supervisor. Though at this point, I am so uncertain whether I am ready or not.
Got up late today as I have been feeling drained lately for an unknown reason. (Well, I secretly believe it was because my worry about this meeting). I woke up late and that totally ruined my morning run plan. Moving on, I had the first emotional breakdown since I arrived here in York. It is something I did not expect but somehow deep down inside I know that I have been under pressure for so long. Though compared to what happened to me when I was studying in New York, this was a relatively mild emotional breakdown.
Getting on with life (because I did not have much time to be too emotional), I had breakfast, went to the office and studied there until late afternoon. I spent a few hours reading my notes in order to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. Still, I feel I have a lot to work on. Plus, when reviewing my progress report I had submitted to my supervisor two days ago, I found a lot of grammatical errors and even typos and felt so bad for being so lousy. I truly hope that my supervisor will understand that.
I got home around 4.30, went grocery shopping and went out for a run. At first, it was the same old feeling of lingering headache, sluggish and laziness that held me back. I tried my very best to get rid of all the bad feelings and went on a run. I first told myself to run for a short period of time. As I went along, the goal became clear that today I wanted to run for 5 kilometers.
I started to feel better gradually as I ran. The next thing I knew was that I made a new record for the fastest 1K and 5K yet. It felt fantastic and my headache was completely gone afterwards.
It felt great after the afternoon run. Great that I decided to relax and binge-watched YouTube videos for a few hours without noticing the time. Oh boy!
Honestly, I am still very worried but at the same time truly realize that I cannot do anything much for tomorrow as of now. The work I am doing takes time and accumulation. Nonetheless, I can be a little more prepared by reading some more notes before the meeting. At least it will certainly make me feel better.
I have a lot of questions to ask my supervisor but haven’t thought or verbalized them yet. Thus, that becomes my plan for tomorrow morning. Hopefully, I will be better prepared that I am now.
Self-evaluation on time and life management: 7.5/10
Readiness level for tomorrow’s meeting: 7.5/10
5/23/2018 11.24 pm.
