Admittedly, I was always afraid of writing. It was one of my biggest fear and insecurities I had growing up through my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. It was partially because writing was something, I, like many Thai students, did not have to do as much both in school and out. Even worse, I was not fond of reading, except for studying for exams and that was it. I had absolutely no interests in reading for pleasure or whatsoever.
Going to grad schools changed my life. I started to see my peers, professors, and basically everyone reading everywhere I went from schools, cafes, to train stations or even on the trains while standing. That was the point I thought I should do something to myself. Then I wanted to try to read, too.
Selecting the first book to read for pleasure was really tricky since I had to make sure it would be interesting enough for me not to put down and leave it unfinished. The first one went fine even though it took me a really long time. I admit though of all several attempts, there were both successful and not-so-successful results.
Writing was something I always wanted to do and to be addicted to, to be perfectly honest. However, I found myself failing so many times just because I was afraid to make mistakes and believed that no one would ever read my work. This completely changed since I started writing as a part of my New Year’s Resolution this year.
I can proudly say that I am fully committed to write something every day. If you follow my posts, nonetheless, you will notice that there are days that I skipped for the past month and a half. Well, it was not because I was lazy or no longer committed to my NY’s resolution anymore. It was because “I don’t know what to write about”. Yeah, that is my confession.
But I am glad that I did not blame myself for not writing on those days because I always found myself writing a better entry the next day. At this point, I belive learning to write for pleasure or for whatever reason besides work is a learning process just like starting to exercise. You have to listen to what your body says like when you have to go or stop. That is probably why I still find pleasure when I write now.
I write because I want to not because I have to.
I write because I love to not because I have to be committed to it.
I write for ‘me’.
2/16/2018 10.05 am
edited 2/17/2018 10.03 pm
